less than a week left

it is now 6 days until my month without facebook is over.
at times i have missed checking my account and seeing what others are doing
but i can honestly say those times are few and far between.

i have learned alot about myself and people and life in this month
not all due to not checking facebook
but by creating different ways to view what others are doing
and living my life.

school starts monday and i will admit that i am not necessarily dreading it.
its been a long summer so i'm ready for a change.
plus...
monday also marks showtime's series weeds return.

aside from the vulgar language and illegal actions
weeds is probably one of the most well written series
i have ever seen
(aside from will and grace)
the actors are brilliant
and the storylines are hilarious
and mary louise parker is one talented, not to mention beautiful, actress.

this past wednesday my mom brother and i went to montgomery, alabama
for my brother's orientation at aum, where he will be playing basketball
i learned that i am horrible with directions and apparently inherited that from my mother
and that people in alabama really are bad drivers.
i also learned i can not do a hand-stand.
a little side story for you...
i was attempting a hand-stand by doing one up agaisnt a wall
but i was so afraid of tipping to one side and breaking the lamp on the table beside me
so when my mother made fun of me for not be able to complete a hand-stand
without assistance, i explained that i was nervous of breaking the lamp
and with a quick swat of my hand to further explain what i was afraid of
i broke said lamp.

i mean i am not that strong. that lamp had obviously been broken before :)

while caz, my bro, was in orientation, mom and i explored montgomery

not too bad other than the fact we got lost 4 different times.

ran into some people who used to live in dalton

what a small world it is.

we went into some boutiques

and i found the coolest wrap

you can wear it 100 ways!

inexpensive and adorable. check it out.

i'm a sucker for a good quote

i ran across two while i was shopping

who said shopping couldn't be educational?

one quote was a proverb

"just when the caterpiller

thought the world was over

it became a butterfly"

the other said

"learn to appreciate the small things

because one day

you may realize

they became big things"

just wanted to share.

hope everyone is well!

day LIFE

i am going to stop labeling these by days,
because as you can see my last post was on friday.
between moving and existing outside of the 11"x 8" screen in front of me,
i have been super busy.

today i am frustrated with a couple of things.

firstly,

i am not much of a card player.
played a little uno back in the day.
a little poker here and there.
BUT
the card played that I loathe the most, is the black card.

i don't go around complaining that people owe my anything because i have brown hair or because my great great great grandmother was homeless because some italian dude stole all of her money and beat her.
did this happen?
not to my knowledge.
but if it were true,
it isn't affecting me in my present life, so why complain about it or expect things because of it or hate every single italian because of it?

i'm not comparing this fictitious story to that of slavery...
and if you thought that i was or are already offended...
stop reading my blog now
because you don't deserve to read it.

slavery was incredibly wrong and gross and demeaning, etc.
i cannot change this. 
i am sorry it happened.
to the people it happened to...
not the ones still using it as an excuse
or a reason for a hand-out.

call me a racist.
whatever...i've always said, and stand by, that 'white trash' is by far the worst race.
truly, it is.

even with my previous statement,
i was called a racist recently.
i was leaving work on a monday night
(when i worked at the gym)
and a group of guys that always play basketball there
were outside hanging out.
i knew them from coming in the gym 
and we had all gotten to know each other well
and we were always friendly with each other.
my coworkers and i were locking up
saying bye
and i said
"ya'll don't break in and steal anything."
they laughed.

(now, i am one to say things innocently
and then immediately realize what i said,
but with this...the thought of racism never crossed my mind)
 needless to say...one guy took it wrong.
came up to me working the next week and asked what i meant by that statement.
me, not knowing what he was referring to, asked
"what statement?"
"you know the one about breaking in...did you mean that in a derogatory, racist way?"
i, being a joker myself, seriously thought he was joking.
so i laugh back..."why yes, that's exactly what i meant."
when i saw his reaction...i.e. him not laughing...
i assured him it was a statement/JOKE i would have said to anyone.

i am not sorry he took it that way...nor did i apologize.
that is stupid.
was he guilty of something?
i don't know, but i - in no way - was accusing him
or insinuating he would have broken in.

may i add that i also loathe the 'n' word.
i don't even like when "they" use it.
its DEROGATORY.

but for godsake, if i were to call someone that word
all hell would break loose.
yet while flipping channels on tv or just being in public,
i constantly hear 'white' people being referred to as
crackers
white bitches
whitey
honkey

WHY IS THIS OKAY????????????????

don't put the guilt of slavery on me
especially people around my own age. they didn't even experience segregation.
they have every oppurtunity
(if not more through african american scholarships*, etc)
to be just as successful as anyone else.
*why can't there be a white, non-atheltic, non-baby mama, working two jobs through college scholarship for me?!?!? if i ever become rich and famous look for said scholarship to be awarded to someone through my donations :) 

i don't expect things to be handed to me because of my race.
neither should anyone else.
ALL races have their advantages and disadvantages.
and i'm not saying all "black" people act this way, but i see it all too often.
so don't expect me to apologize or feel sorry for you because your great great great grandmother was a slave.

get over it already.

secondly,

most obnoxious family - the duggars

need i say more?

this lady said, after her and her baby barely made it through labor AND the baby being in neonatal care for 8 months, that she wouldn't be opposed to baby number 20. gross.

yes, i would potentially leave all 10-12 of my kids that couldn't take care of themselves yet, motherless.
what a selfish person.

she pops out babies like a puppy mill.
but my, oh my, how they are rolling in the dough now.
and i'm sure baby number 20 would bring about numerous outlets for potential profits.
ew.
go away reality tv stars...i'm over it.

just a little frustration venting today.
no one said creating themselves was all smiles and flowers.
you need dirt to grow as well :)

peace and love.

day eight nine and ten

ain't it funny how the night moves...
182 nights ago, me and my friends, mary mae and ashley, were just getting settled into our apartment.
with snow heavily laying on the ground.
and excitment of the next 6 months all around. (i did NOT plan for that to rhyme).
and now, we're moving out.
scorching sun heavily beating down on us.
sad to see it end, but thankful for the time and memories made together.
ain't it funny how the night moves.
yes, bob seger, it is.

mary mae, ashley and myself

this was my first experience living on my own, mind you.
my, oh, my how the time flies.
2010 has been an inspiring and insightful year.
i have learned so much about myself and other people.
i have lost some friends and made some new ones.
as of today, i no longer work at the wellness center
(disclaimer: i quit...didn't get fired!).
moving back in with the p's tomorrow.
237957987 memories.
and tons of excitement for this next chapter.

i am finally excited about the future (instead of worrying incessantly).
and looking forward to creating the life i want :)

the real day two

We are all a little addicted to something.



I am addicted to:

• Starbuck's Caramel Frappuccinos
• Playing with my ears
• FACEBOOK

Now where I may not be willing to admit how serious some
(ah-hem, i.e., facebook) of the addictions are,
none of these seriously hurt me and those around me.

As I was reading the fabulous Dalton Daily Citizen this morning (may I add a congrats to all the winners of the elections - CONGRATULATIONS), I came across something highly disturbing...

Man pleads guilty in child's death

I worked with this guy 5 or 6 years ago at a local restaurant. Apparently he was high on cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana and alcohol when he beat his 5 week old. TO DEATH.

Hearing stories like this and watching shows like intervention,
seriously makes me question whether or not to have children.
Now I am not saying I forsee myself beating my child to death....
I just don't want to have a child that becomes addicted to black tar heroin,
or beats it's child to death.

Extreme. I know. But how does one know that they're not raising a child like this.

I've known bad parents to have amazing children. I've known amazing parents to have bad children.
Some parents are too strict or too lenient.
My parents were a nice mix. I believe.
I have made mistakes, plenty, but turned out decent. I believe. :)

BUT our parents can only guide us so far until we have to make decisions on our own. Bad or good.

Makes me wonder what road Nathan, the guy I worked with, took.
Did his parents do something wrong while he was growing up?
Where did he go wrong?
What lead him to go wrong?
What kind of life did he create?

Although my parents have faith in us (my younger brother and I), they still worry....
everytime we leave
everytime we don't answer
every minute
every day

Maybe its my age. Maybe its my mentality at this age. But as of right now, I want nothing to do with babies. I don't want my child to be pregnant at 16, smoke meth at 18, and die at 25.

Extreme. I know.

I have already worried enough about my future. Now I am creating it. Maybe babies will fit in one day, maybe they won't, and right now, I am okay with this.

On a lighter note...

Speaking of Starbuck's...and coffee.
As I was sipping my morning cup o' joe.
That was too hot
I realized life is like a cup of coffee (yes, I said coffee, not chocolates!)



you wait...and wait...and wait until its ready to drink
and then you have a small window of time to enjoy
before it gets too cold.


I feel like I have been waiting so long on the coffee to cool down that I've missed the moment where it is the perfect temperature.

This blog is my coffee cup.
I will fill it up everyday with thoughts.
And I will enjoy every drop of this cup of life.

semi-day two

Amélie
It is technically day two, precisely 12:14 am, as I begin my second post.

So far, I will admit, I've spent more time on this blog than Facebook on a normal day. But my excuse is....drumroll please....this is new and I've had to take time to create it.

you're welcome ;)

Back to Amelie...

...wait, not yet.

-A pet peeve of mine is when something isn't spelled right.

And Amelie doesn't have the acute accent above the first e. I THOUGHT I figured it out by holding down the alt key while pressing 130.

Release.

Voila...didn't work.

Curse it.

I did it again.

Voila is supposed to have a grave accent above the a. Apparently hp knew one day I was going to start writing a fascinating blog and they didn't want this to happen. So they decided to put this obstacle in my way - yeah, yeah ,yeah, you Mac lovers. I'm sure your Mac never leaves off an accent marking -

Amelie and Voila it is.

NOW back to Am(acute accented e)lie....

Amelie is a French film. Filmed in 2001. Amelie was nominated for 5 Oscars. Another 51 wins and 46 nominations.

Interesting I chose to watch this today. The day I start this blog....on the journey of creating myself.

Amelie's alleged heart condition forces her to live a sheltered life. She finds a long lost treasure and vows to return it to it's rightful owner. After witnessing his reaction, she decides to set out on bringing happiness to others.

Doing this for a while is fun, but Amelie soon realizes she hasn't done much for herself. After being reminded by a neighbor, she's grown to respect, that she can't be a brittle person, she decides to take life by the horns and falls in love with the life she created.

Watch this movie or you are a perdant - french for loser
(and yes BLOCKBUSTER has it) :)

Familiar, you say? Sounds like someone you know, you say?

I sure hope so :)

*and just for your curiousity...the time is now, precisely 1:14 am